10 Steps To Healing Your Inner Child

How to connect to your younger self, and allow yourself to become more vulnerable

10 steps towards accepting your inner child!

Tip #1 - Acknowledge Your Inner Child

Begin by accepting your inner child exists within you and is often linked to your emotions, memories, and experiences from your past. Accepting and acknowledging this part of you is the first step toward healing. Take time to re-visit childhood memories. Think about the things you once loved. Reminisce the times you felt happy, as well as the moments that have brought pain or confusion. Our strong emotions especially feelings of vulnerability, fear, or sadness. May be signals from your inner child seeking validation. When these emotions arise, recognize that they may stem from a part of you that still needs nurturing and care, and that's okay!

Tip #2 - Set Intentions Towards healing

When setting intentions for healing your inner child, the focus should be on creating a compassionate and nurturing space where past wounds can be acknowledged and released. The intention is to listen without judgment, to validate the emotions and experiences of your younger self. It's also important to commit to being patient and gentle with yourself, recognizing that healing is a gradual process it will not happen overnight! Setting an intention to honor your inner child's needs—whether that’s for reassurance, play, or emotional release—allows you to create a sense of security, helping to break free from patterns of self-sabotage or unhealed pain. Through this intention, you’re affirming a commitment to care for and integrate your inner child into your present, allowing them to grow and thrive as they are.

"You can’t heal what you can’t feel" — John Bradshaw

Tip #3 - Create Space For Reflection

Creating space for self-reflection of the inner child requires a conscious effort to maintain a quiet, safe, and supportive environment where you can reconnect with your past self. Begin by setting aside dedicated time in a calm, comfortable setting free from any distractions, allowing your mind to relax and open up to deeper emotions and memories. Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-reflection, as it provides a safe space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and childhood experiences. You might ask yourself reflective questions like, “What was I feeling during that time?” or “What did I need then that I didn’t receive?” This is how you begin to understand your traumas and how to change.

Tip #4 - Mindfulness & Grounding

Meditating to reconnect with your inner child is a powerful practice that allows you to access deeper layers of your subconscious, healing, and nurture your emotional self.

Here is a basic technique to meditation and reconnecting to your own inner child.

1. Choose a peaceful environment where you can sit or lie down comfortably without distractions. You can create a calming atmosphere with soft lighting, soothing music, or even candles.

2. While sitting or laying down think to yourself or say out loud. “I am here to reconnect with my inner child” or “I invite my inner child to express themselves freely.”

   
   

3. Close your eyes and take several deep, slow breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a moment, and then exhale through your mouth. As you breathe, allow your body to relax and release any tension that you're feeling.

   
   

4. Picture yourself in a peaceful, comforting place—this could be a childhood memory, a favorite spot in nature, or an imagined safe haven. Visualize every detail, from the colors to the sounds and sensations incorporate all five senses. This safe space will serve as a sanctuary for you and your inner child to be themselves without fear or judgement.

   
   

5. Once you feel grounded and relaxed, invite your inner child to join you in this safe space. Visualize yourself as a child, paying attention to their appearance, emotions, and energy.

   How old are they? How do they look and feel? Take a moment to reflect on these sensations.

   
   

6. Gently ask your inner child how they feel and what they need from you. Allow the conversation to flow naturally, and listen with compassion and curiosity. If your inner child doesn’t respond right away, that’s okay—just be present and patient with them as you would like someone to be patient with you with learning how to understand something new.

   
   

7. In your meditation, offer comfort, protection, and love to your inner child. You can imagine hugging them, holding their hand, or simply sitting beside them. Let them know that you are here to take care of them and that they are safe with you now.

   
   

8. You might also engage in playful or joyful activities with your inner child during the meditation, such as laughing, exploring nature, or doing something they love. This helps to reconnect with their sense of wonder, creativity, and happiness you may have forgotten about...

   
   

9. Before ending the meditation, thank your inner child for showing up and sharing their feelings. Reassure them that you will continue to care for them in your daily life.

   
   

10. Slowly bring your awareness back to the present moment by taking a few deep breaths. Gently wiggle your fingers and toes, and when you feel ready, open your eyes. Take a moment to reflect on the experience and how your inner child felt.

By meditating regularly to reconnect with your inner child, you create a healing space for emotional expression and growth. This practice helps you build a deeper bond with yourself, offering the love and care your inner child needs to heal and grow.

Tip #5 - Write A Letter To Your Inner Child

Here’s an example of a letter you might write to your inner child, focusing on love, compassion, and healing wounds you didn't know how to process and heal when you were younger.

Dear Dylan,

I see you. I feel you. I know there are parts of you that may still feel scared, alone, or misunderstood. I want you to know that I am here for you now, and I am listening. You’ve been through so much, and I’m sorry if you ever felt like no one was there to protect you or understand your feelings. But now, I promise to be that person for you, I will not leave you behind.

I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You’ve always been so strong, even when things were hard. You found ways to cope, to survive, to stay brave. You might not have heard this often enough, but you are worthy of love just as you are. You always have been good enough to succeed in your dreams!

It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Whether you’re sad, angry, confused, or happy, I want you to know that your emotions matter. You don’t need to hide them anymore, your vulnerability is your superpower! I’m here to listen without judgment, to give you the space to express yourself, you deserve to feel safe.

If there were any times when you felt lonely or neglected or not good enough, I am so sorry,

But today, I want you to know that you are more than enough, and I love every weirdo part of you. You are beautiful, smart, and deserving of unconditional love and joy.

I want you to know that it’s safe to be vulnerable with me. I’m here to hold you, comfort you, and give you all the love and care you might have not received when you needed it most back then.. We’re a team now, and I’ll never leave you behind. Whenever you need someone to talk to, someone to play with, or someone to cry with, I’ll be here. Together we will make it through!

Let’s explore life together with curiosity, joy, and playfulness. I want you to experience the world the way you always wanted to—full of wonder and excitement. You don’t have to worry anymore, because I’m here to protect you, to honor your needs, and to always keep you safe where ever you decide to go.

I love you, Dylan. Thank you for being such a brave, beautiful part of me.

We’ll grow and heal together.

With all my heart, Dylan Thomas

Tip #6 - Validate Their Feelings

You might say to yourself, “I feel sad (or angry, scared, etc.), and that’s okay. Refrain from labeling any emotion as “wrong” or “bad.” Let your inner child know that all feelings are valid, whether they seem rational or not. Say things like, “It’s okay to feel this way” Be gentle with your inner child, even if the emotions are overwhelming or confusing. Speak to them with kindness, saying, “I understand that you’re feeling this, and it’s perfectly normal. I’m here for you.” This reassurance helps build trust to dive deeper into the subconscious. Even if you can’t relate to the emotion, express empathy by saying, “I may not fully understand this right now, but I know it’s important to you, and that matters to me.” This shows your inner child that their feelings are important, regardless of whether you can immediately process them. Picture yourself hugging or comforting your inner child, much like you would comfort a friend who is upset (hugging yourself in reality will deepen this connection)

You don’t need to solve their problem—just offer comfort through your presence.

Tip #7 - Dreamer-like Mindset

It's time to reflect on your inner child's dreams! Think about your passions, the potential opportunities that made you feel alive. This is how you discover how limitless you truly are.

Learn to approach life with curiosity and an open mind. Asking yourself "what if?" or "why not?"

to challenge limitations and think beyond what's been practical. (programmed overthinking and logic tends to block our dreams) By setting long-term visions with actionable short-term goals, you create a bridge between imagination and reality. Inspire your creativity—whether it's art, writing, music, or simply daydreaming about what you'd like to achieve. Engage with people, places, and things that continue to inspire you. Practice daily visualization, imagining your life exactly how you dream it to be. Let yourself feel the excitement and joy of living in that future reality. Feeling is the key!

Tip #8 - Talk To Your Inner Child

By learning to speak to your own inner child it creates a form of self-healing. Soothing your inner anxieties, you don't have to always be serious all the time, allow yourself to have some fun! Remind your inner child you don't have to be strong all the time. This is important for validating emotions that were dismissed or ignored when you were younger. You don't have to be perfect, you are allowed to make mistakes without punishments. You've always been good enough, I am sorry other's couldn't see your value. I see you. These affirmations will begin to reinforce self-love and confidence.

Tip #9 - Release Guilt & Shame

Releasing guilt and shame related to inner child wounds is a transformative process that requires compassion, patience, and a commitment to healing. Don’t push away or deny these uncomfortable emotions. Say to yourself, “I feel guilt/shame about this, and that’s okay.”

These emotions don’t define your worth.

Reflect on the moments in your childhood that left you feeling guilty, ashamed, or unworthy.

Were you made to feel this way by others, or is it a self-imposed belief?

Ask Yourself: Whose beliefs am I carrying? Often, guilt and shame are imposed by external sources (family, society) and are not your own truth. What is your truth?

Shift your perspective: Recognize your inner child did the best they could with the tools they had at the time. You were innocent, vulnerable, and trying to cope with your environment. The guilt or shame may belong to someone else, not you. Remind yourself that it wasn’t your fault. Whatever happened in the past does not define who you are today. You are not responsible for how others treated you or how you coped in difficult situations.

Practice self-forgiveness: Speak to your inner child and say, “I forgive you. You did nothing wrong. I love you and I release the guilt and shame you’ve carried.”

Forgive those who have contributed to your wounds.. This isn’t about excusing harmful behavior but about freeing yourself from the burden of holding onto the pain. You can say,

“I choose to let go of the hurt they caused. It no longer has power over me.”

Talk kindly to yourself: Replace guilt and shame with words of compassion. Whenever you feel these emotions arise, remind yourself, “I am worthy of love, just as I am. I deserve to heal.”

Healing from inner child wounds takes time. Allow yourself to make mistakes and stumble along the way without punishing yourself for having to work through these uncomfortable feelings.

Tip #10 - Commit To Your Growth

When you are in a healing mindset, shifts begin to occur in your emotional, mental, and relational life. These are some of the key changes you may experience:

1. Greater Self-Awareness: You’ll start to notice recurring emotional patterns, especially those rooted in childhood experiences. This awareness helps you understand why you react to certain situations in specific ways, giving you the ability to respond rather than react. As you become more aware of what triggers your inner child and are better equipped to address those triggers with compassion as you grow.

   
   

2. Increased Emotional Resilience: With more awareness comes the ability to pause and respond rather than reacting from old, unhealed emotional wounds that were once being projected.

   You learn to navigate your emotions with more understanding than shame for having them.

   You develop stronger boundaries, understanding that it’s okay to say no or protect your emotional space without feeling guilty for taking time for yourself with or without others.

   
   

3. Self-Compassion Creates Less Self-criticism: You’ll find that you’re more gentle with yourself. Instead of being critical or judgmental, you respond to yourself with kindness, especially when mistakes happen or when experiencing hard to process emotional hardships. You’ll begin to recognize your own needs and tend to them with care, whether it’s giving yourself time to rest, engaging in play, or offering reassurance.

   
   

4. Authentic Relationships: Healing your inner child allows you to express your needs, feelings, and boundaries more clearly in relationships, leading to deeper and more authentic connections with others. As you heal, you’re less likely to repeat patterns from childhood, such as attracting people who trigger unhealed wounds. Instead, you seek relationships that are healthy, supportive, and communicative.

   
   

5. Rediscovering Your Dreams: Healing allows you to reconnect with the joy, wonder, and creativity that may have been suppressed due to past wounds. You give yourself permission to play, explore, and create freely. As you release the weight of past guilt, shame, and trauma, you create space to fully embrace the present moment and find joy in everyday experiences.

   
   

6. Letting go of old stories: A healing mindset enables you to release the narratives and beliefs you may have internalized from childhood, such as feeling unworthy or unlovable. This creates space for a new, empowered identity to emerge within. As you heal, the burden of guilt and shame lessens. You no longer carry these emotions as defining aspects of your identity, and instead, embrace a sense of worthiness and self-acceptance.

   
   

7. Loving yourself unconditionally: You learn to love yourself despite imperfections, flaws, or past mistakes. The process of healing teaches you that your worth is inherent and doesn’t depend on external validation. Over time, you develop a deeper sense of peace and comfort within yourself, Coming to the realization that you are enough just as you are.

In Conclusion

Healing your inner child isn’t about reaching a final destination but about continuing to grow and evolve through every stage of life. This process allows you to live with more emotional freedom, joy, and authenticity, continuously improving your relationship with yourself and the world around you.